I Climbed it

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Flight @ 77

An old man at 77 leaves his home to be with his grand-daughter. He knows he'll not be able to hold her for too long. His hands bashfully quiver. He is immensely shy to acknowledge his physical limitations. His thigh muscles give away if he stands for too long or walks too much or sits too long.

When he lost his wife at 76 he felt decentered. Often he looked disoriented. Maybe he felt dislocated. Displaced. For several years his wife's health was his foremost concern. He had also silently been there for his children. He was all ears when they split with their partners. He stood tall and stoic behind his children when they felt challenged in love. He was always there. Silent. Patient. Always Confident that his children will move on.

His children always needed his strength. But now at 77 he is strong no more. He needs some of his wife's nervous energy. He has made her part of him yet again. Now by expressing himself using her language. He has allowed himself to let go of some of his stoic exterior. She is not there. She is not unwell and looking for his strength endlessly, relentlessly,mercilessly!

He is on anti depressants that have slowed him down. They make him sleep. He is on thyroxin and insulin injections. A needle everyday in his tummy for three years. He never forgets it. Not even after his wife's death. Its his commitment to his children. Now his grand daughter.

He knows not where is his home. The home he built with his wife for his children is no more. The home his children made with him for all of them lies vacant. His home with his daughter is fun but he misses his son.His home has to grow he realises! It has to widen, enlarge,include more geographical spaces than just a house. Home can no more be one house, one city or even one country.

So in search of his larger home or maybe to make the world his home... he took his first international flight @ 77 to Ibri, Chad, Oman. Thats where his grand-daughter lives.

Knowing well he will not hold her for too long. He is sceptical of his strength now. Knowing well he won't be able to see the city by himself...he still took the leap of faith to go to a new land. An unknown land...where his granddaughter will chuckle in the next room...
where his young and strong daughter in law will sing lullabys...and where his son will now be the father...
The hope to see that home made the old man take his FLIGHT @ 77

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